Back in Balance

Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster for our family. Stella woke up Saturday morning without the ability to balance. She could no longer walk without falling over, she could not even sit without tipping over. It was an alarming symptom to witness. We called our pediatrician's office and got an early morning appointment. I figured she must have gotten too much water in her ears in the tub the previous night and got an infection that was throwing off her equilibrium. We met with the NP and she could not find anything externally wrong with Stella, her ears were perfectly healthy and she felt that the symptoms were severe enough that we should go to Helen DeVos Children's Hospital's ER to have labs and possibly imaging done. This brought up our worst fear - brain tumor. We had already discussed it before we went to the pediatrician's office because Jeremy's brother Vaughn had died of a brain tumor. Leila stayed with Grandma & Grandpa and we drove to Grand Rapids. We checked in about 11:15am and discussed symptoms with multiple nurses and a doctor. They measured Stella's head circumference to see if there was noticeable swelling. They wanted to eliminate possible causes like electrolyte levels, virus, and accidental ingestion of medication, so they needed to get blood and urine samples. I had to hold Stella down and tried to comfort her by singing to her, but until they were done she was pretty inconsolable. As soon as I was able to pick her up and hug her to me she was fine again. They had to take 8 cc's of blood. We were not allowed to give her any food or water in case further testing was necessary. She was a real trooper, she even took a 45 minute nap on my chest while we waited for test results. They ended up needing a little more blood, so they had to take some from her other arm too. We continued to wait for results and suddenly I looked at the time and it was already 2pm. I had not eaten much, we brought a few snacks not knowing how long we would be there, but not a full lunch. Jer walked to the cafeteria and picked us up a sandwich to share. All of the blood work came back normal, but the doctor was not satisfied with sending us home without a CT scan (to make sure it was not a brain tumor), since she was still having balance issues, although she had improved throughout the day. Since I am pregnant I was not allowed in the room for the CT, but Jer was by her side. They bundled her in 3 blankets and strapped her down tightly with velcro and the machine started to spin around her. At the end she managed to pull her hand out of the swaddling and stuck her thumb in her mouth. We went back to the room to wait some more. Off and on throughout the day we took Stella on walks through the halls and a nurse brought in a few toys for her to play with, the favorite being bubbles. Jer would blow them at her and she would pop them with her hands and say, "Pop!" Any time we would take a break from bubbles, she would point at them and say "Buh." So we would start again. Dr. Lanphear and a nurse came back with the news: the CT was totally normal. What a relief! Again, there was no reason for her symptoms, but we knew that the scary reason was not a possibility. Their conclusion was that she maybe had a virus that was so slight that we were not aware that she even had it, and it resulted in some fluid or swelling or irritation in her brain that caused the dizziness/imbalance. We were released around 4pm and I started to feel lightheaded as we were leaving so we stopped at McDonald's for some more food. We picked up Leila and went home and fed the girls supper.

I was texting our families and friends throughout the day with updates and prayer requests. God was so present with us through this whole ordeal. I felt like I wasn't even really worried all day. I was waiting for the bad news to hit, then I would worry about the future. Thank the Lord that the bad news never did hit. It was a draining experience though. I practically collapsed when we got home and made Jer do everything. I was the strong one through the trial and he was the strong one when it was over. It is wonderful to be a team and be able to lean on one another as well as family and friends. My sister Kari drove all the way to the hospital only to turn around and drive home because she was getting there just after we got the good news from the CT scan. If it had gone another way, we would have been so grateful that she was already there for us.

This morning Stella was pretty much back to her old self. She still falls down a bit when walking, but that is normal for a kid who has only been walking for a few weeks. It is hard not to over analyze her every move and try to remember what her "normal" balance is. We still need to follow up with her pediatrician, but now that her symptoms are pretty much gone, we hope and pray that this episode is behind us.